Hello Mother!
by Fenrisswolf
Summary: What if the parental argument for Ranma's training journey and separation from his mother had gone just a little differently, and Ranma and Genma had both stayed home?
1. Hello Father!

A warning:  
  
Some amount of suggestive material may be present throughout this story, but nothing too explicit. The author strongly suspects that the readers' imaginations will be able to fill those bits quite effectively on their own. Besides, it is much more fun this way.  
  
As you should no doubt know by now, the characters and situations used aren't mine. All legal rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi and her retinue of legal retainers. As it is not my intent to make a profit out of this, please don't sue.  
  
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Hello Mother!  
  
Ch.1. Hello father!  
  
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Lying awake in bed, Ranma wondered about tonight's strange events and unexpected reunion. It had all begun in the living room, only a few hours earlier, with an all too frequent argument between him and his stupid father.  
  
"Look pops, I don't care what you say. There's just no way mom's ever coming back! She's gone, she left us, and you'll just have to deal! I know you still claim that she's on some kinda 'training' trip and stuff, and that those letters and post cards we get every once in a while really are from her, but come on! That trick mighta worked on me when I was a little kid, but for you to carry it for ten years is just too much! Admit it: You're full of it! If that trip was real, don'tcha think a normal person woulda been back by now? Nobody goes on training trips that long! You should have just accepted that she's gone and moved on with your life, dad. I know I have."  
  
"Ungrateful brat! Your mother has suffered through many hardships to improve herself! It takes commitment and time to become a true martial art master. So what if it has taken your mother a while to improve her skills. She has done this so her training level will be one appropriate to her station in our family! After all she's gone through, the least you could do is show her some patience." Sigh. "Besides, according to this postcard I just got, you are completely wrong. The woman I married, your mother, is coming home! She will be here soon, and I will not have you give her any of your lip! So there! Nyaa!" With a red-eye gesture and an enormously self-righteous grin, The portly patriarch of the Saotome family started waving a travel-worn postcard just slightly away from his son's reach.  
  
"I don't believe you, old man! That's just another one out of your sick perverted collection of postcards! What kind of a woman would send her family nudie girl postcards? What's even worse, is your pretending to keep them for the FAKE, CRAPPY, SENTIMENTAL NONSENSE in the back side! Gimme that, I'm gonna burn it along with the rest of them, and kick you out of the house until you find yourself a REAL woman!"  
  
Tucking the postcard into a fold of his gi, and getting into a ready stance, Genma taunted the boy. "You'll have to take it from me first! That is, if you really can, boy!"  
  
"Heh." Pausing for a second to take a quick look around their neatly kept living room, the young man gestured around him as he coolly asked his father, "Are you sure you want me to beat you here, pops? It'll tear the house up, and then you'll make me clean everything up. (By myself. Again.) You'll claim to be too beat-up and sore to do anything, and just lie down on the couch. Wouldn't you rather take this out in back, in the yard, and save us both a lot of trouble? That way, after I beat you up, you'll already be part-way outside, so It'll be no trouble at all for you to head on out to a bar, and see if some woman takes pity on you. Because, with your looks, I don't see how else you'll get a date, much less find yourself a new wife."  
  
Relaxing into an exaggeratedly thoughtful pose, Genma replied with a condescending smile. "Hmm. You could be right about a few things after all. It is obvious you've forgotten what your own mother looks like, or you'd realize what a load of bull you've just said. But then again, your grades prove that sitting around doing nothing all day at that fancy high school of yours has only damaged what little bits of sense you may have once had. It has probably made your body just as soft as your head, as well. Yes, it would probably be best for Poor Little Ranma not to spar with me at all today. It would be much better for all of us if I just fix him a warm cup of milk and send the good little boy upstairs for a short nap instead. That way, he won't be so cranky by dinner time, when MY DEVOTED WIFE, YOUR MOTHER, NODOKA, WHOM YOU WILL SHOW SOME PROPER RESPECT TO, gets home." Having said that, he quickly assumed a tighter stance and continued with a smirk. "Or maybe you're just too scared to find out how much better than you your old man really is?"  
  
With a growl and a glare, Ranma leaped. "ARRGHH! Forget about the stupid postcard, pops. Nobody, not even you, calls me stupid to my face, dares to treat me like a three-year old, and lives! This time you are going down!" With a flurry of attacks and countermoves, followed by ever more childish taunting from Genma and Ranma's temper, the sparring session somehow degenerated into a brawl that eventually spilled over into the backyard, after trashing most of the open space inside the house.  
  
Outside, a lone, travel-worn figure had finally arrived at her destination. In front of a once familiar door, the figure hesitated. Would the place still be the same as before? Would there still be a place for her there, or was she fooling herself into thinking she would ever be accepted back? With a bit of hesitation, she opened the unlocked door and walked in, pausing for a moment as old memories swept over her. Wiping some dust from her kimono, and straightening the long, wrapped bundle at her back along with her own slightly dejected posture, the woman looked around the trashed living room with a slightly disapproving nod. In spite of the mess, it was oddly reassuring to see things this way. The mess, the familiar surroundings, and the vague impact noises of bare handed combat coming from the back of the house summoned a single thought to her mind:  
  
Welcome home.  
  
"Oh dear, I was hoping you two could stand being alone by yourselves for a while, but it seems I barely made it back in time. What a mess! Well, I suppose I'll have to clean all this up later. For now, I want both of you to get over here and let me take a good look at you!"  
  
A little confused from a combination of surprise at the unexpected voice, mutually inflicted concussions, and exhaustion, the two bruised men slowly untangled themselves from each other to comply with the woman's commands.  
  
Taking a quick look at their young visitor, the older of the two whispered: "So, Ranma, who's this? She looks familiar, but I can't quite place her. Some new girlfriend of yours, maybe? She's cute, but I thought bossy women like her weren't your type."  
  
"Look old man, I've got no clue who that girl that just barged in is, but she's getting on my nerves. I just hope this is not another one of your stupid dating schemes again. I'm getting sick of being set up with blind dates every time you meet someone with a single daughter. You're the one who hasn't seen a woman, much less his own wife, in about ten years, not me. So please, just leave me out of it. Your frustrations with women are your problem, pops, not mine." Replied a grumbling Ranma.  
  
With a shake of her head and a few disapproving tsks, the aforementioned girl replied, "You know Dear, whispering like that in front of someone else is just rude. I know you are excited to finally see me again, and you are probably just trying to arrange a little quality time alone with me, but I have barely finished a very long trip and I'm really worn out. I've really missed having you around too, but I'm reaaally tired. Maybe we can do something fun a little later? Just not right now, please? After being apart for so long, I would not want to disappoint you on the first night we spend together again. Now come on, both of you, and get back inside. I'd like to get to see you before I collapse from exhaustion. And could you turn on some lights? It's getting late and I'd like to be able to see you both clearly."  
  
With an ill-concealed look of fatherly disapproval towards his son, Genma complied with the request.  
  
"She's lyin'! I ain't seen her before in my life, or slept with her, or nothing!" Replied a very flustered Ranma.  
  
"Honey, what are you talking about? You used to cry when you couldn't sleep with me, and my face would be the first thing you saw when you woke up. I remember you as such a cute baby, and now, you have grown up to be quite a handsome young man. Besides, I was speaking to your father, my husband. Genma, dear, you think you could give me a back rub when I get in to take a bath? I'm a little sore from traveling, and you're soo good with your hands. Ranma-honey, you really should get your father to teach you some of his other techniques, as some of them are really quite good. His back-rubs, in particular, will melt any girl to butter. A handsome, manly young man like yourself should have plenty of willing girls just waiting for a chance with you to use those techniques on them. Trust me, they'll love it."  
  
"..." After a few minutes of stunned silence, a very uncomfortable Ranma finally reacted with a cracking of knuckles and a loud "Yo, Pops! We need to talk. Now. Ya better have a very good explanation for this!"  
  
Too stunned to respond, a shocked Genma still remained at a loss for words. It was perhaps fortunate for him that his 'wife' chose that time to speak, and briefly prolong his continued existence.  
  
"Son, I'm glad you are so eager to learn, but cracking your knuckles doesn't really help. Besides, he doesn't have to show you right now, does he? I'm going in to take a bath, and I wanted him to scrub my back the way he used to before I left." Unfortunately for Ranma's resolve, the combined strength of an ultra-cute smile and big, batting eyes, followed by a "Pleaaase, dear?" reduced his will to jelly for long enough to agree to the strange girl's demands. With a brief question to verify if the bath supplies and towels were still at the usual spot near the bathroom, the girl left to take her bath.  
  
Both men had found themselves agreeing to the strange girl's requests before they could quite realize what was happening to them. However, Ranma still retained enough presence of mind to prevent his father's rushed escape through the back door. This would have been quite an impressive feat in Genma's misspent youth, but those days were long past. As it was, it was merely a matter of grabbing the collar of a dingy white gi at the appropriate time and place. Why was pops wearing that ratty old thing now, anyway? He usually wore more normal clothing for everyday. Oh well, not important. "All right, old man... ...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THAT GIRL? WHO IS SHE? HOW DOES SHE KNOW THIS HOUSE, AND WHY DOES SHE CLAIM TO BE YOUR WIFE?"  
  
She can't be much older than me if we knew each other when we were little. So...  
  
She has to be about my age.  
  
I know I can't get married yet, so unless she was way older than me, and she just got married to him...  
  
But...  
  
She really only looks about my age, or maybe even a little younger, so it's gotta be invalid or illegal or something....  
  
But it also sounded like she knew both pops and the house just a little too well, which means those two have must have known each other for a while,...  
  
"...EWWW, THAT IS JUST TOO SICK AND DISGUSTING! I KNEW YOU WEREN'T PERFECT, OLD MAN, BUT THIS IS JUST WRONG! You musta met that girl by a Junior High or somethin' an brought her here several times before! I don't even wanna know what you done with her to make her think she's married t'ya now, but you better send her back home, quick! I really hope there's a really good explanation for all a this, and that this ain't what ya meant by the 'loyal husband' crap you been trying to pull on me all these times, because otherwise, I'm calling the cops and leaving this place. You might be my father, but family loyalty only goes so far, old man."  
  
"Boy, your poor trust for me hurts! You can't really believe That Girl? I'd never, ever, ever cheat on your mother! Come on, when have I ever lied to you?" Replied a very upset Genma.  
  
"Gee, let's see... You wanna long list, or just this week?"  
  
"OK, fine. Carry a grudge. I make one or two mistakes here and there, and you get reminded forever. When have I lied about anything really important?"  
  
Unfortunately for Genma, what could have been an enlightening discussion of his son's idea of personal priorities was interrupted by a mature female voice heading towards them from the direction of the bathroom.  
  
"Genma! Ranma! Are you two gonna argue all night? I got tired of waiting, so I finished my bath already. I don't know what you two are so upset about, but I could hear the noise all the way in the bathroom!" Suppressing a yawn, the woman continued. "I want you both to stop it this instant, and go to bed. It's late, I'm tired, and tomorrow is a school day, so I'll have to get up early to make some bentos, plus I don't want to see you two fighting like that in the house. So whatever it was, put it behind you for now, or take it out to the dojo tomorrow after school, if you have to."  
  
With a heavy glomp, a very loud "YOU'RE HOME! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH, DEAR!" and a few un-manly tears of joy, Genma Saotome was finally reunited with his beloved wife of sixteen years. "Where were you? I was expecting you much earlier today, but it doesn't matter, you are here now. That is all that matters to me. How have you been? Where have you been? Did you miss us? I missed you. Please don't leave again!"  
  
A few moments later, during a small pause in Genma's constant questioning and prattling, a much quieter voice made two important questions. "Excuse me ma'am, but who are you? And, what happened to the girl who went into the bathroom earlier?"  
  
Loking up from a still over-emotional Genma, a slightly bewildered Nodoka answered with a "Huh? Are you OK, son? I think I introduced myself when I came in and saw you guys in the living room. I'm your mother, Nodoka. Nobody else has been in the bathroom since I went in to take a bath, son. What did this girl look like, Ranma?"  
  
"Well, she was about my age, with bright red hair, about as long as yours, I think. She was a bit shorter than me, and was wearing a slightly oversized kimono. Actually, that kimono looked like it would probably fit you, ...mom."  
  
"I think her eyes were the same color as yours, dear, and now that I think about it, she reminded me of a lot of you when you were younger." Replied a more composed, happy husband.  
  
With a big yawn and sleepy eyes, Nodoka replied. "Well, I think I would remember seeing someone who looked so much like me around, but I haven't seen anyone but you two since I got here." With a mischievous twinkle in her eye, she continued. "Genma dear, I am falling asleep here, so I'm going to bed. Care to join me?" 


	2. Here I am at

Warning: There are bits of lime-y fresh goodness throughout, but nothing too lemony.  
  
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Hello Mother!  
  
Ch.2. Here I am, at...  
  
It was, in many ways, a typical morning. The sounds of daily combat could be heard in many homes, as reluctant salarymen and school children struggled against the injustice of a calendar system that would allow such horrid things as Monday mornings to exist. But, as in most places, it was the diligent job of all local housewives to ensure that these moody, noisy objects leave their houses in time, to keep the local schools and businesses afloat in grumbling busybodies. This too was duty, a chore to be endured along with the more pleasant ones of a life that included such things as soaps, endless gossip and hope-filled matchmaking. In its' familiarity and habit, it was both a comfort and a strangeness to Nodoka. It was an almost terrifying thought for someone who had barely returned to a home that she had briefly considered lost to her forever. This gloomy feeling was put aside, as the breakfast she was currently cooking provided a temporary boost of pride to hide her current nervousness. Duty and honor would be satisfied when they all ate a meal together again. And maybe, if she was good enough, and got their approval, they would even be a real family again!  
  
Strangely early, Ranma woke from a troubled night's sleep. In his muddled mind, an uncommon feeling of apprehension stirred. He knew he was forgetting something important, but he wasn't quite sure what. All his homework was done, and there were no tests today at school, right? It was also his turn to take a lunch to school today, so that wasn't it either. Speaking of food... "Yo, pop's! Something sure smells good out there! Whatta ya up to?"  
  
"Ranma-dear, your father is still sleeping in our room. I'm afraid I kept him up until very late last night. Or would it count as early morning by then? No matter, the poor dear just didn't get much sleep, so I let him rest in a little, just for today. But breakfast is almost ready, so I'll go get him so we can have our first meal together again!" Replied a much too happy and youthful voice. "We'll be one big happy family again in no time!"  
  
Half asleep still, Ranma replied with a less than heartfelt "Err... sure, mom." Wait a sec... Mom? Is that who and what that was? "M-mother? Is that really you? I thought that..."  
  
Meanwhile, across the hall, a slightly overweight, middle-aged man was getting a rather enthusiastic wake-up call, courtesy of his loving wife. " Uhm... Jus'aannothar fi'minnnnnnuss sleep, looooovvv... Hmm, please stop that... Hey, thaaaa ticklesssss! Dear, wha'f Ranma hearss? Ahh, that feels grr... Alright, enough! Ah m'awake enough already!" So saying, Genma blearily opened his eyes to witness a scene that would have gathered both the envy and immediate wrath of his old master. Unfortunately for his current bedroom companion, that particular thought was a very unpleasant one for Genma's troubled soul. So with deeply ingrained reflexes born out of a lifetime of rigorous martial arts training under a cruel and merciless master, Genma quickly clutched his bed sheets back, and screamed in terror like a little girl. Sadly for him, this meant that he was clearly heard by his son.  
  
Ranma was still unclear about a lot of the previous night's events, but he had already made up his mind that today's seemed about to get much worse. He knew that whatever really happened last night, it was probably his old man's fault. Again. Another scheme gone sour, and nobody but him to clear it up. What was it? Something about the old man getting re-married, and his mother showing up at the wedding? Whatever it was, it was bad enough to make him slightly nauseous just trying to think about it. Getting to the room the scream had come from, he realized it was much worse than he had first thought, as he saw his father struggling with a half- naked girl tangled with him in his bed. With a very brief apology to the girl, and one loud resounding ka-pow!, a beet-red Ranma quickly stumbled out of the room, dragging his underdressed and now unconscious father out with him.  
  
A few minutes later, a somber, yet more decently clad girl came out of the room to notice two angry male faces looking at her.  
  
"All right, before anyone else does anything else! Just tell us, who are you, and what are you doing here?"  
  
"Huh? Don't you recognize me? I live here too. I'm... Oh wait, I never got around to explaining anything last night! No wonder you two were acting confused! I'm Nodoka Saotome, mother of one Ranma Saotome, and dutiful wife of Genma Saotome. However, I can see you don't believe me. If one of you would get me some hot and cold water, I'll prove it."  
  
After exchanging a brief look of incredulity and doubt, it was quickly decided that Genma would be the one to get the water. Mainly because Ranma didn't trust leaving his father alone to take advantage of what was obviously a poor love-smitten girl, and because Genma was too afraid of what that sex-crazed teenage temptress might try to do to him if the two of them were left alone for too long.  
  
Genma's respite was brief, however, as it quickly became apparent to someone that today's breakfast would require swift female attention if it were to remain edible. With an "Eep! Our breakfast!" the girl left towards the kitchen in a flash of red hair, only to collide at the door with her dear husband, who had been carrying the requested water. In this confusion, Genma managed not to spill the glass of cold water he was carrying, but he still shattered the tea-cup. Fortunately for both of them, as it fell and broke against the floor all its contents spilled off to beside them, keeping them from being scalded by the hot liquid. It did not keep them from being scolded by Ranma as he wandered in after the runaway girl, just to witness his father and that same girl tangled in a very compromising position on the floor.  
  
"I don't believe you two! I turn around for a minute, and you are all over each other, again! Can'tcha wait till yer alone ta do that? On second thought, forget I said that! Old man, I know you've been alone for a while, but she's just too young for ya! You really should find someone your own age to be with! The same goes to you! I really don't know what you can possibly see in him, but whatever it is, forget it. He's just using you, and when he gets bored, he'll just dump ya and you will be miserable. Just end it now, it will hurt much less in the long run."  
  
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(Break-time! Get your drinks and snacks now, before we return to the story.) Official Disclaimer:  
  
1. As you should no doubt know by now, the characters and situations used are not mine. They belong to someone else. It is not my intent to make a profit out of this at all. (If you feel strangely compelled to give me your money anyway, e-mail me privately, and I'll arrange to make something ORIGINAL for you to pay me for. Just don't do it for anything like this, or we're liable to end in legal trouble for it.)  
  
2. Given the emphasis on Nodoka, some amount of suggestive material may be present throughout this fic. Be prepared to wander into Lime territory. If this type of material offends you, I apologize, and fully expect you to delete it from your inbox upon receipt.  
  
As usual C&C is Good, Flames are Bad, and Lobster is really expensive!  
  
Now, back to the story:  
  
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